Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
