your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
