Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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