How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
