Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
