We won't sleep together?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
