just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
