Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
