I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
