The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
