so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Im part way to drunk.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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