I am spending my child support on dildos
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
