i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
