I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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