WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
