tell your sister to shave her snatch
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
