He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
