dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
