I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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