none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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