All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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