coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize