Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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