Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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