Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
