you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
