So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's blow job season.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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