I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
