Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
