im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
