He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
