yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
