Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
