he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
