I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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