Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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