found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
