I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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