i don't like sucking hair
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
