I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Panties = found
Randomize
