Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i don't like sucking hair
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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