Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
