Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just high enough for therapy.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
