Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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