I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
