gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
