I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
