I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
