My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
