Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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