cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
