That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
