how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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