Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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